at home and at work (in an art classroom) is this:
She tries to organize random stuff, and then
The end. That is it, my life story condensed into one
sentence. Although, what happens after getting
distracted is the best part.
For instance, today I was getting a little over-
whelmed with the rats-nest that is my desk at work,
started organizing, and then thought 'these drawers
are so random they'd make interesting photos'. For
most of creative people's lives, they are shamed for
not being organized enough. Most of the anxiety that
overcomes me isn't from not being able to find stuff,
although that is an issue at times, but from feeling
ashamed of what other people may think. Like Mr.
Besonen often says, we have no control over what
goes on in-between people's ears. And then there is
the fire marshal--that is where requiring students to
clean up after themselves comes in.
I am a recovered perfectionist, have gone through
phases of being impressively organized and sterile,
and got gold stars for it. Then, I realize that all of my
time is spent cleaning and organizing and I am getting
nothing else accomplished or created.
I like the balance now. I know where most things
are, things get cleaned eventually, and I have to trust
that other people will sufficiently clean up and organize
themselves. Now, often when I start to organize,
BAM an idea forms from the juxtaposition of all the
random stuff or a person (my child, a student, my
charming husband), who is more interesting than stuff,
says or does something that I don't want to miss.
People and ideas are more important than stuff, and
more important than getting gold stars for Dwell
magazine-like interiors of spaces where people do
not really live.
My concrete-sequential friends might be rolling
their eyes now and possibly thinking 'she is making
excuses for disorganization'. Yes, total chaos is
inefficient and overwhelming, but sterilization grows
next to nothing new or exciting. Except allergies--
but I am getting distracted again.
Always looking for new ways to embrace my
imperfections, here is some evidence. Below are
photos of my desk.
Enjoy my chaos. Or don't, but ask yourself why
you can not embrace some chaos. Excuse me, I
have to figure out how to close a desk drawer
|Hey, just found the tooth picks I was looking for yesterday!|
art classroom a day, using hundreds of different
materials in one day. I love art materials, but
I love people and ideas even more.