In the meantime

Still waiting on a diagnosis of my thyroid tumor. Just found
out today that I have another inconclusive result (insufficient
cells for diagnosis) of the second biopsy. It has been more
than a month of waiting, and wondering. Trying to take
more action about making an appointment with a specialist
today. Now waiting to hear about that. Frustrating.

Today my own diagnosis is that most of our lives are 
living "in the meantime". In the meantime, I choose to
paint and "blog pist", my new term for angry blog posts!

Full Moon Waiting, finished today

Full Moon Waiting feels more finished now. I am excited about
how the Brancusi-like endless columns sprouted up out of my
honeycomb patterns. If I am not making sculptures right now, feels
good to paint them. I believe that Frida Kahlo would approve of
this painting!

In the Meantime
acrylic on 24"x30" canvas.

 

Waiting

In-progress "Full Moon Waiting",
24" x 30", acrylic paint

By the time I finish this post, the results may be
in, the results of the biopsy of a somewhat large
lesion (tumor) on my thyroid. Waiting has always
been one of my greatest weaknesses... I have so
many memories of being angry while I had to wait.
At 10-years-old, I angrily waited to open gifts by
the Christmas tree, as my brother (5 years younger)
peacefully waited. I remember wishing that Luke
would help speed things up by throwing a fit, which
is pretty funny now that I think about it, since he is
one of the most patient people I know. Of course,
most of my childhood memories are very positive,
but the topic here is waiting.

There has been a lot of waiting lately and I have
been angry, but waiting has also led to more painting
without over-analyzing; the kind of painting that I
want to do more often. This kind of painting, when
the results are especially unclear, can lead to an
acceptance that surrenders control.

*The results are "inconclusive"--will have another
biopsy next week. More waiting.