Phase 4 & 5, From hating it to "Did I do that?"

Detail, I See You Too

Phase "almost done"
I See You Too
30" x 48", acrylic on canvas

I got a lot of painting done today, and moved through
a couple phases. Today one of the phases included
wanting to quit many times. The stage when self-
doubt is greatest, and I have all of the typical self-
dialogue. "I hate this. Why do I make art? Why can't
I actually enjoy math and be an engineer? This music
is annoying. Maybe an engineer would like this music.
Or a lawyer. Lawyers dress so nice, and don't usually
have to worry about getting paint on strange places
of all their pants... Ah, no one is forcing you to paint.
In fact, only a few people would notice if you'd stop.
Jerks. Why wouldn't they notice? Oh yeah, they are
busy being engineers and lawyers."
It seems like I am teetering on the edge of completely
destroying it and becoming an engineer (impossible)
or a lawyer (maybe) one minute and then somehow it
forms and I witness it taking on a life of its own. Like
Erkel, I say, "Did I do that?" These are the satisfying
days. Because of course I realize I did do that, and
I know it wasn't as easy as I want it to look.

(A special thank you to the engineers and lawyers. Not
sure why I think about you on days like today, but you
help get me through. I do appreciate what you do, 
especially because I can not do it. We are all in this

Phase 3, Sheep Eye Anatomy Lesson

A detail of the eye progress yesterday.
Still need to add the lashes and more detail.
  Painting opportunities were pretty slim at the end
of this work week, but appreciating every minute I get--
and concentrated on the eyes of I See You 2 yesterday.

Sheep eye trivia:
Sheep pupils are rectangular, widening vertically
in height with varying light. These pupils allow
expanded peripheral vision to spot predators


I See You 2

I am hoping to take daily photos of my current
challenge, a 30"x 48" canvas of a sheep and black
bird that I started yesterday. So far the plan is to use
inverse colors and in the opposite direction as a
smaller version done last November, I see you.

Phase 1, 30" x 48" canvas
(The awkward phase that I don't usually share.)

Since October, I have found the camera to be one
of my best painting tools. I paint a little, then take
photos. These photos help me to step away
from my distorted view in front of the canvas and
decide on the next moves with color and compos-
tion. Also, I can try out new colors and contrast 
on the computer, and not waste paint!

I See You, November 2011
24" x 30"